Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
