I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
