I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
