I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I understand Curling. That high.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
