No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
