So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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