If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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