Girls should come with a carfax report
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize