i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
