i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
