drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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