I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
