ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
