I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
