The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Randomize
