I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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