i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
zippers are such a cool invention
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
