There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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