it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize