how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
