Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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