how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
