Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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