Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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