Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
