Whatcha textin bout Willis?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
