I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize