O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
