Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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