i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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