Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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