You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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