he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
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