do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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