the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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