hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
