direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You are a genius and a whore.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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