i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
