did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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