I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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