did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
