dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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