and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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