I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
