That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Well I just put wine in my tea
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize