I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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