im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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