Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
