third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
