remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
