is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
