Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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