I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
