He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Randomize
