Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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