found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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