dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
