he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
