Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
