I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
