When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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