"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
